The BOULDER Man
Why you should join a Men's Group?
For years I have sat in a variety of men's groups and heard and shared in on a variety of different stories, and modalities. But there is a couple of things that really stood out to me from being in the company of men who strive to be better, more connected versions of themselves for the people they love, and for themselves.
Men join a Men's Group for a variety of different reasons and join at different stages in their lives. The variety in a men's group is what makes it great because you can hear from a myriad of different perspectives, and different life stories.
We’ve all had some tough times in our lives and are going through ones every day. Men start to realize more and more, that we all have feelings and unconscious behaviours that we don’t necessarily like about ourselves or want to change. And sitting in a men’s group, you quickly realize that you are not alone in that. Which helps us to open up more and allow ourselves to be seen for who we are.
"It is literally the cheapest form of therapy that you can get."
So why do men join a Men's Group?
There are several reasons for sure, but I will list the most popular ones that we have noticed over the years.
The number one reason I have heard from EVERY man that stepped into a Men's Group that I have been a part of is that they lack authentic and meaningful male friendships in their lives. A man in his forties is said to be the loneliest in his life. He is at the stage where he has reached a height in his career. Perhaps his family and financial situation are sound. But through pushing in his career, he may have neglected to develop deep and meaningful friendships; those that go deeper than the surface level talk that we are all familiar with.
When you join a men's group, the automatic byproduct, is that you develop friendships with men you would never have known otherwise. And the friendships develop naturally, as you get to see, know, and learn about another man's being, stressors, and internal processes. So there is no need for masks, walls, and everything else that we use in order to keep men at a distance.
Another reason why men join a group of men is to talk about and find support for the relationship struggles that they may be facing. Whether there is general & sexual dissatisfaction, conflict & tension, possibly divorce on the horizon; men's groups are an ideal place to speak openly about your struggles and receive support from other men who may have been in the same situation.
3. Career, Direction & Purpose
Many men are dissatisfied with their career, possibly want to change career, or start a new venture, and instinctively know that it would be better with some level of authentic support.
One question that comes up time and time again, is that of purpose. Where men feel that they lack purpose in their everyday life, and so feel generally dissatisfied with their level of happiness.
Men's groups and the inner work that gets done there, are a great place to explore this all and receive support.
4. Saving Money
It is literally the cheapest form of therapy that you can get.
5. Know yourself better
When you spend enough time in a men's group, the men around you become aware of your self-sabotaging, unconscious, and other behaviours that can help you get a better understanding of yourself. Along with that, delving into shadow work, and other forms of inner work in a safe setting greatly supports further knowledge about your inner workings and growth.
One of the greatest benefits of a men's group is accountability. From time to time, we all can do with support when it comes to achieving our goals. And when there are a group of men who support and hold us accountable for our goals, we are more likely to achieve them.
We all have goals that we want to attain in order to feel more grounded in our purpose and have a greater sense of accomplishment in our lives. And support while we move through those goals, overcome stumbling blocks, and process failures or celebrate successes, greatly improves our sense of overall wellbeing.
Something amazing happens in men’s groups. You realize that through authenticity, that you are not alone in the struggles that you face. When we start to share what is going on in our lives, openly and authentically and listen to what the other guys are going through, we start to realize that we can relate to each other on a deep level, irrespective of age, race, and sexual orientation.
That experience alone lifts the veil of loneliness and men start to realize the benefits of connection.
Probably the best possible outcome that no man initially joins a men's group for, is reestablishing trust with the masculine within himself, as well as cultivating better trust with other men.
In the connection with other men, and allowing ourselves to be supported, we realize the deep level of healing that happens from old wounding and conditioning. Connection is the medicine.
The BOULDER MAN cave
“In the connection with other men, and allowing ourselves to be supported, we realize the deep level of healing that happens from old wounding and conditioning. Connection is the medicine.”
Part of our vision at The BOULDER Man is to provide a safe space in the form of The Man Cave. We believe that every man has the capacity to design and create a life that he wants. A life that is fulfilling. A life that is filled with a sense of joy, purpose and love.
We created The BOULDER Man, because, like a number of other men, we experienced the pain of loneliness, lack of support, mental health, lack of direction, struggles with purpose and goals, lack of community and belonging, childhood wounds, and struggles with defining masculinity in our lives, and major life transitions from divorce, to job loss, entrepreneurship, single parenthood, relationships, friendships, etc.
And we know how it feels to be supported.